dreaming → planning

This is the time to live in the nexus of dreaming and planning. I now have something I have wanted for a long time- a place of my own- and everything feels possible. While it’s difficult to reconcile my need for instant gratification, I like the idea of having a long-term creative project… especially a garden. I dream of having a garden full of flowers and ferns, with a swing for reading. This dream turns into plans of an arbor and David Austen roses- I’m thinking frothy yellow ones like Teasing Georgia. I browse online seed catalogs for clematis and foxgloves, watching for free hostas, and cheap bulbs.This all feels like the greatest creative endeavor I have ever taken on.

In the meantime, I’m falling further into the world of antiques and vintage. Almost dragonlike, I have hoarded books and china. I write in my journal with fountain pens, send letters with vintage denominated stamps, and arrange my book pick-ups from the library. Due to COVID, my tea habit has become a tea ritual, using my saved copies of Teatime to search for teas to try. I’ve taken on a renewed passion for thrifting and yardsaling, spending my Saturdays scouring the county. All of this has culminated in a lifestyle that is one part sustainability, one part vintage, and two parts British country.

In the midst of my personal life’s total upheaval, I’m still trying to search for beauty and meaning in each day. I have struggled with being at home, the transition to working from home for my full-time job was very difficult. I still kept going at my part-time job in a grocery store, working as much as I could with the store’s limited hours. I have become accustomed to the masking and additional safety precautions. Even as my county began to reopen, these measures feel reasonable to me. While these “rules” can be a nuisance- I would rather be simply annoyed than ill.

And so, I continue to dream. I draft plans in my journals; hoping for the ability to make my dreams a reality. Navigating this new life is difficult, but more fulfilling.

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